Hi everyone,
I’ve been struggling with a deeply personal and difficult decision, and I thought I'd seek some guidance and support from this community because none of my friends have gone through it. My husband and I have been going through a rough patch for quite a while now, and I’m at a crossroads. Divorce has crossed my mind more times than I’d like to admit, but I’m terrified of how it will affect our two kids, who are still young.
There’s so much to consider—emotional impact, finances, co-parenting, and whether staying together for the kids is truly the right thing. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if staying in an unhappy marriage does more harm than good in the long run. I know it will be tough but there're still so many more years to go and one day the kids will grow up and have their own lives. Funny how I never thought I'd be in this situation.
If anyone has been in similar situations or has valuable perspectives to share, how did you decide whether to stay or leave? How did it impact your children? What advice do you wish someone had given you at the time?
I’m open to hearing all thoughts, advice, and experiences—good, bad, or somewhere in between. This is such a hard decision, and I don’t feel like there’s a “right” answer, but I hope your stories can help me see things more clearly.
Thank you so much in advance for taking the time to share. ❤️
it was not cheap. we went to a session of couples therapy here and it was something like almost $300 for 40 minutes... i feel like in singapore everyone tries to rip you off and i feel like their agenda is just to make more money more than trying to help you. try to see if your friends have anyone to recommend who maybe even are overseas. we eventually saw a licensed therapist from the UK regularly on zoom and it was very helpful for us and much more affordable.
i agree with @nattan actually i recommend trying couples therapy if you're open ot working it out with him. my husband and i did therapy a few years ago when we were rocky and it helped us address some of our issues and move forwards.
Divorce was tough n now dating is harder. I feel like there are no good guys out there. I have a kid who's 5 y/o now n she's dealt w it great so far... but who knows how it will be in a few yrs? Just make a decision you won't regret, even when you feel lonely. Some days I'm happier, some days not. Just being honest.
Hey. I was in this same spot about 3 years ago too, and I'm sorry to hear it. It's never easy when you have kids and I struggled a lot with what to do too. We had one and she was 2 and it was tough enough as is. May I ask how old your kids are? I'm asking because how they handle it (and how you'll handle it) depends on their ages - you'll get quite different responses based on that and also their personalities. I'd just say that divorce wasn't easy and we had an acrimonious one that dragged out a long time, and that was exhausting. However, now, looking back, I'd say it is the best decision I ever made for myself and for my future family. I am much happier now. It was tough hearing my kid sometimes ask for her papa, but now she is happy too and she seems to get it. That's the amazing thing about kids - they can bounce back. Ever thought of getting a therapist? That helped me a lot with my decision and through the whole process.